runnin'

i really dont know what we are sometimes.
trust and understanding,disappeared.
i do miss you.

i felt inferior.
just want to be someone else.
i'm grateful enough for what i have.
but i just cant get enough.

i want to run.
run to the world that can be nice to me.
i cant.
dont expect life would be fair for you.

things lingering in my head.
trash things.
shitty things.

lets be mature myself.
no ones really care about you.
so just stand by your on leg.

no one cant be trusted.
even the best friend.
they may stab you on your back.
and talks shit behind yours.
trust yourself.

you are not alone going thru the shit.
everybody going their life alone.
strive for their life.
get what they want.

promises and vows are killing me.
nothing to do for it.

i love my family even more.
afraid of losing em.
the love that i cant be express out.
even with the words or acts.

i'm the one who are sinned.
repents and redo it over again.
should Allah wipe out my mistakes?
i'm weak.
really.

dont be sad myself.
Allah with us.
always.

solecism by me,zulaika.
sorry.

*i hate getting flashbacks from things i dont want to remember.