Two in the morning

Ya Allah, jika dia boleh membimbing aku hingga ke akhirnya nyawa aku, 

Jika dia boleh tunjukkan aku jalan yang Kau redhai,

JIka dia boleh mengingatkan aku tentang kealpaan,

Jika dia boleh sedarkan aku di saat aku kelalaian,

Jika dia boleh menjadi imam untuk aku dan keluarga kelak,

Jika dia boleh menerima setiap keburukan aku,

Jika dia boleh menjaga setiap aibku,

Jika dia boleh bersamaku dalam susah atau senang,

Dan jika dia adalah pencinta setia Engkau,

Yang boleh meningkatkan rasa cinta aku terhadap Engkau,

Maka Kau satulah aku dengannya.

Dan jika tidak, berilah kami kebahagiaan yang Kau redhai,

Amin.

p/s : When one tastes something of the purity of love with Allah, that will divert him from other than Him.

senyum

p/s : shut your eyes and think of somewhere.

February

Bulan ini adalah bulan ketiga dan terakhir aku bekerja kat kedai muzik tu. Tinggal lagi enam hari untuk aku resign. It is a fun experience that I ever had. Seriously, ni lah kerja yang paling lama aku bertahan. Kerja aku rilex goyang kaki. tak teruk mana pun. Cuma bosan lebih. Tapi takpe la asalkan duit masuk.

Baideway, aku berhenti bersebab. Sebabnya aku dapat offer utk further study. Alhamdulilah. Mulai 4 March 2013 ni bermulalah kisah aku sebagai seorang pelajar ijazah sarjana muda kewangan di uitm kampus bandaraya melaka. Excited sangat sebab dah lama sangat cuti belajar. Tapi bila fikir balik rasa malas pun ada. Yeah you know, student life kan busy. Assignment, class, test, quiz, and all that dah mixed up sangat dah dengan orang yang begelar pelajar. And I dont know what kind of busy would be as a degree student. I heard elses said that degree life is far diff from a diploma life. Eyh? Okay will see how it takes.  Belajar tu susah. Tapi kalau tak belajar lagi susah.

Maka, aku pun berjanji lah pada diri sendiri bahawa akan memanfaatkan ilmu itu sebaiknya supaya boleh dipratikkan di alam pekerjaan. Aku taknak laa nanti bila nak interview kerja, terkumat kamit aku nak mengingat benda benda yang aku belajar tu. Aku nak jadi boss. Haha. (Harap harap tak hangat hangat tahi ayam).

Teman suka duka gaduh ketawa dalam February

 

p/s: I was born to make mistakes, and I'll die with all of my lessons learned.

Le 2013

Hello! Seems a long time this blog without my update. Well, I was not in mood to write a post about everything and anything for a past few days. Today is a brand new year, brand new month, and brand new day. I'm so thankful to enjoy my day 1 of 2013 with my family. Even we are not out for somewhere but we still can gather one family under the one roof. I'm so glad. Alhamdulilah.

2012 taught me everything and they treated me well. Before we set the new determination for this year, let us recheck what we achieved for last year.

• Finished up my study on time. Checked.
• Graduated with good CGPA. Checked.
• 366 days full with him. Checked.
• Got a part time job while waiting for the degree intake. Checked.

This is my improvement that I've made for 2012. Alhamdulilah for that. Okayy here are my new goal to be achieved in 2013. Lets go with it.

• Successfully applied for a Ijazah Sarjana Muda UiTM.
• Got a better GPA & CGPA.
• Love my family more.
• Behave everywhere.
• Be a better muslim.  

p/s :  Action speaks louder than a words. So prove it with your attitude, dont just say it with your mouth.

New Month!

I've been busy all this while. My life getting so hectic doing my things. Work work and work. Haha poyo pulak mengalahkan orang bisnes je. Well hye December! May Allah ease everything for me in this month. InsyaAllah. Amin.

November. Seriously November treated  me very well. Mostly all my November wishes have been achieved. Thanks Allah. Ini semua rezeki. Berita paling gembira pada bulan November lepas adalah aku dah graduated. Maybe some people akan cakap 'Alahh..Diploma je kot'. 'Alahh..aku pun dah grad tapi tak kecoh nak happy terlebih ponn'.. and bla bla bla.. Heyy hello! Kau tahu tak aku separuh nyawa nak habis kan 6 semester kat UiTM tu? And hello! Even CGPA aku 'boleh laa' pun, itu sudah memadai untuk student akaun okay! Please take note. Semua orang ada benda yang boleh buat mereka happy. Just like me. At least I've made my parent proud of me. At least ok!

In this new month, I've started a new job. I've been offered to be as a admin assistant in Cadenza Music Academy for Semenyih branch. Seriously, at first I'm so happy for getting this job and this position and with a good starting salary. Well today was my second day of working. I'm so bored. Really bored. Tak banyak kerja. Duduk je. Takda kawan. Rasa macam makan gaji buta pulak kat situ. And aku tak tahu anything pasal music and instruments. So aku tak boleh nak explain lelebih kat customer. Sedih. This is not challenging work for me. Tapi ini apa yang aku nak sebelum ni. Nak kerja senang. Bila dah dapat rezeki, merungut. Itu aku. Sigh.

Haa. This is my offer latter. Tak pernah aku dapat offer letter sebelum ni. Semua verbal offer je. So macam jakun sikit la. Okay gambar agak blur. I'm so lazy to snap it back ;)


So dah alang-alang tulis blog ni, I would like to state my December wish pulak. Here are my December wish:

• Keep money on important things only! (Aku suka membazir dekat makanan yang tak mengenyagkan)
• Semoga Allah terus melindungi keluarga aku dari anasir anasir jahat.
• Semoga Allah limpahkan keberkatanNya dan rezekiNya kepada keluarga aku dan aku.
• Semoga aku terus mendapat gaji yang halal.
• Semoga aku rajin bangun pagi demi untuk mendapatkan duit.
• Semoga aku boleh bertahan dengan kerja yang sangat membosankan dalam dunia ni.
• Semoga hubungan aku dengan semua orang baik baik saja.
• Semoga aku akan ada berita gembira untuk dicoretkan lagi.
• Semoga aku boleh pedulikan mereka mereka yang sangat tak boleh consider perasaan orang lain.
• Semoga aku lebih kuat dan tabah dan selalu terus senyum.
• Its better to give them a fake smile rather than to give them a sincere shit! (Ehh ini wish ke?).

 p/s : I want to live my life without stress and worries, I dont need to be rich or famous, I just want to be happy.

Silent

Its better to be away than to be ignore by others.

It would show how much they care and notice our absence.

I dont want to be with someone that I used to know.

I mean the bad people I've ever met in my life.

Your attitude really annoyed me.

I hope we will not meet again in the future.

It will makes me irritated.

Ya Allah, please let me away from these people.

Please let me far from them in the future.

Please.

p/s : Over time you start noticing that some people just aren't worth it anymore.

490 days.

Such a great number of days we have been explored together! 490 days are equal to one year and four months. I'm super duper happy by being your wing and you be my the other half. I never imagine that we can be this far. Me, I've never been in a relationship with someone as long as me and you. Like seriously, you are far different from the other guys out there. To be honest, i love this relationship so much. You always defend and fight for it. Thanks love.

One year and four months ago, I still remember on our first date. You with your black collar shirt, spiky hairstyle with your dark shades, walked around besides me in Tasik Alamanda. After a while, we sat on a bench near the lake. We started to talk and laugh. In the end of our conversation, you asked me to being yours. BUMMMM!
My heart beated vigorously. Do you remember?

I cant imagine a day without you. Because you always being around me. You know me well. You know me more than myself. You treat me well. An therefore, I heart you.

Here are some of our old pictures. Just to get you refresh.

Putrajaya vs Melaka

Celebrated your 22nd birthday

IKEA, Damansara

You and your friends celebrated my 21st birthday at Umbai, Melaka

You, me and my friends in your college

I will keep the rest of our pictures and videos. Hopefully, ten years from now, I could shows our kids the pictures of me and you. 

Selamat menyambut ulangbulan kita yang ke 16! :)

p/s : Sometimes, love has its ups and downs and in's and out's. All it takes is two strong devoted people.

meditating

p/s : Stay. No matter how hard it is be with me, just stay. I need you.

sigh

I was kindly asking you

And then..

You suddenly volume up your voice

Do you think I am heartless?

p/s : It's a great day for being sad.

setengah mati

I miss the talks we used to have

I miss the voice i used to hear

I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories

And above all these...I just miss you

I just need a little hope 

That this wont lasts forever

That things will change

* When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

p/s : I chose to let the bad things strengthen me. Well, you are only the somebody that I used to know :)

p/s

To her classmates;

She is a quite girl

Who doesnt talk that much

To her friends;

She is a funny, outgoing girl

That always make them laughs

To her bestfriend;

She is a crazy, fun girl

That's always there for her

To her boyfriend;

She is an amazing girl

That he loves more than anything

And to herself;

She's completely worthless

Ehikk

p/s : You and me. No one else.

Kahwin

Kahwin. Bila bercakap soal kahwin dengan si dia, pertengkaran mesti akan terjadi. I'm a type of girl that hate the late marriage. But he is a kind of boy that love the late marriage. You see that? We are not in the same term. Dispute di antara budak Accounting dan budak Architecture mesti terjadi punyalah bila membincangkan hal ini.

Aku bukan lah penyokong tegar perkahwinan di usia muda. Bagi aku, berkahwin pada usia 21 tahun adalah terlalu awal. Kawan kawan yang seusia dengan aku ramai dah mendirikan masjid. Setiap kali melihat gambar mesra mereka suami isteri, aku rasa gembira sangat dan menginginkannya. Tapi bukanlah pada usia 21 tahun ni. Aku masih belum matang untuk memikirkan tentang rumah tangga sendiri. Apa tah lagi untuk menguruskannya. Tahniah untuk mereka yang berani mengambil keputusan untuk berkahwin awal. Have a bless from Allah. Semoga jodoh anda diberkati sentiasa.

Aku juga tidak sukakan perkahwinan yang lambat. Bagi aku, perempuan yang berkahwin pada umur 30 tahun ke atas adalah terlalu lambat. Tapi tak salah, kerana mereka pasti seorang yang berkerjaya. Seperti Faizulhadi, dia menyuarakan hasratnya padaku untuk berkahwin agak lambat. Kerana nak stabilkan kewangan dan mengejar citi cita sebagai seorang arkitek yang berjaya. Amin. Siapa yang taknak bersuamikan seorang arkitek kan? Untung untung boleh buat istana sebijik untuk aku nanti. Macam Shah Jehan buat kat Mumtaz tu. Haha.

Apa pun, aku impikan sebuah perkahwinan yang sempurna. Bukan untuk mencari kesempurnaan. Kesempurnaan takkan datang kalau kita tak berani nak ambil risiko untuk menyempurnakannya. Aku inginkan kestabilan dari segi kewangan, ketinggian ilmu agama kedua belah pihak, ada sifat ingin membimbing di antara pasangan, kesabaran yang cukup tinggi, kepercayaan yang cukup kuat, kesetiaan yang cukup erat, kejujuran yang cukup penuh dan kekuatan yang cukup maksimum.

Bukanlah aku jenis yang memandang pada materialistik untuk menyempurnakan sebuah ikatan itu. Yes money is not everything, but everything needs money. Am I right? So, itulah tunggak dan tunjang untuk memulakan sesuatu dalam hidup ni. Serious cakap, kahwin kalau guna duit mak bapak memang tak puas.

Keserasian antara pasangan adalah paling penting. Maka, carilah seorang yang boleh  menjadi bukan hanya setakat boyfriend dan suami, malah bestfriend. Siapalah aku untuk membincangkan isu ini lebih panjang lagi. Ini hanyalah apa yang terlintas kat fikiran aku je yang tidak sama sekali mempunyai pengalaman tentang perkahwinan.

p/s : Dont marry the person you think you can live with, marry only the individual you think you cant live without.

Jagalah diri

Mata kau berhenti menangis

Jemari kesat ke pipi

Hati cukuplah dirasuk sedih

Kerana kau takkan kembali

Takdir mengubah hubungan kita

Dia padam dari jaga

Bicara hanyalah dalam doa

Yang dipanjat pada yang Esa

Ya Tuhanku

Jagalah diri ini menempuh

Hidup sepi tabah menerima takdir

Ya Tuhanku

Ketemukanlah kami berdua nanti

Hingga itu ku mohon kau 

Jagalah dirinya

Jiwa walaupun terpisah jua

Selalu pergi dengan-Nya

Sisa yang masih ada di sini

Ku bertatut ke nafas terakhir

p/s : Things fall apart, even when you think they're stronger than anything you could ever imagine.

I'm a loiterer

13 November 2012, tamatlah sudah riwayat kerja aku di Oldtown White Coffee tu. Konon dulu nak bertahan at least dua bulan. Tapi tak sampai sebulan pun kau dah angkat kaki. Zulaika Zulaika. Tapi okay lah berhenti awal, tak sakit lagi kaki aku ni kene jalan sana sini ambil dan layan karenah customer yang mengada tu! Sampai sekarang lutut aku terasa sakit lagi dek kerana tidak dibenarkan duduk semasa on duty. Ohh like seriously? Yess la. Masa nak sujud dalam solat, aku terpaksa menahan kesakitan lutut. Get well soon okayy lutut! Sekarang aku dah jadi job hunter semula. Ada tawaran menjadi seorang cashier, tetapi harus ditolak kerana gaji yang tidak berbaloi dan tambahan pula, ibu tercinta tidak membenarkan aku terima offer tersebut. Aku akan berusaha lagi untuk mencari kerja kerana keinginan terhadap duit terlalulah tinggi. Tapi nak kerja yang senang laa dan gaji banyak. Hehehe. Tapi untuk sementara ni, aku kena rehatkan diri secukupnya sebelum meneruskan misi mencari duit. Yeah!

Setelah beberapa minggu menjadi warga Oldtown, semestinya aku dah manjadi akrab dengan mereka. Yela kan, kerja sama sama, penat sama sama, tolong sama sama, gelak sama sama. Mereka tempat aku mengadu penat dan ketidak puasan hati aku terhadap customer dan macam macam lagi. Rindu pulak kat diorang. Ahh semua orang kau nak rindu! Mereka banyak tolong aku itu dan ini. Layan aku baik. (Tapi ada jugak yang buli aku). Dan yang paling penting mereka sangat faham yang aku ni pemalas. Kisan selalu cakap camni 'Siti, you are very lazy!'. Haha. Well, aku suka orang yang faham kekurangan aku yang itu. Thanks. Mereka selalu bertanyakan soalan ini kepada aku: 'Siti, are you okay?' , 'Siti, are you angry?' , 'Siti, today you are tired?', 'Siti, hungry already?' , 'Siti, you are very funny!' , 'Siti, no customer, no busy, are you happy?' , 'Siti, dance!' ... Haha akan rindu ayat ayat tersebut. Aduhh tetiba rasa syahdu pulak malam malam buta ni.

Kawan kawan baru aku kat Oldtown yang akan aku rindu adalah Kisan, Shakira, Shariff, Tan, Indra, Kailaish, Subash, Ghana & Kumar. Untuk lady boss dan Malcolm tu, aku tak rindu langsung pun. Sebab diorang la, aku tak boleh duduk.

Waktu ni boss takde, boleh laa berposing.

Inilah makanan yang aku take away masa hari last aku kerja sebab nak habiskan duit makan free yang dia bagi tu. Gambar di atas : Enriched Chocolate Hot, Enriched Chocolate Cold and Siamese Mee.

Okayy ini meal aku masa hari2 terakhir aku kat sana. Waffle yang dibeli kat foodcourt ditemani Enriched Chocolate Hot dari Oldtown.

Meal aku time last day kat sana. Peanut Butter Bread Steam.

 Like I told ya earlier, Enriched Chocolate Hot that always be my favourite! :)


p/s : Time moves in one direction, memory in another.

Aww!

 p/s : Everyone has someone that keeps them looking forward to another day.

THIS!

Allah has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles, and a reward for your faithfulness.


p/s : Dont give up!

A pictures to remember

One Step Ahead

First of all, I would like to say Alhamdulilah, syukur ya Allah for this fortune. Finally, I'm officially graduated! I'm very happy since I've been graduated. No such words can express my feeling. Fuhh! Such a relieved. My parent are the best supporter. They mentally and physically support me in every ways.  I love them so much. Not forgetting about the special one, he was always be my strength in order to overcome my weaknesses, bring me up when I was down and be my ear to listen all my difficulty. Thanks Faizulhadi Bin Badaruddin. My friends also assist me a lot on my study. We shared our knowledge together and aided each other. I love you my friends. Big thanks to all my lecturer that teaches me from semester 1 till 6. Thanks for the knowledge given.



p/s : Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.

me

Okayy I'm done typing my resignation letter. Tomorrow I will give the letter to Malcolm with my pleasure. Hooreyy! :D

The 5th of November 2012 is very killing me. I'm falling but not stumbled. My heart is breaking but not shattered. My tears is flowing. My eyes is puffy. My mind is flying. My body is weak. My heart is mangled.

This is a process of growing, I guess. Let me kiss this pain slowly. Let me smile even it is hurt. Let me stand even it is unsteady. Let me cry even I have no shoulder to be cry on. Let me meditate even it is silly. Let me take some time to heal this pain away.

Today's meal : Springy Noodle With Meatloof And Egg :|


p/s : I'd rather be single instead to be with someone that always have something behind your back.

...

 
The spicy fish fillet rice is one of the awesome meal from Oldtown White Coffee :)

Teh Tarik Ice is for ordinary taste.

Hazelnut White Coffee makes me thrilled. Like seriously!

uncontrolled

Lately, I cant control my madness. And this is too bad. I'm not going to be rude or crude. I just want to standing my point up. The right point I mean. I speak for what I think its right. I speak to defend myself from people that always pointing up their finger to others. I speak to correct a wrong judgement. And I just speak to give an opinion.  People always misunderstood this. They made a judgement that I spoke was too hard and irrelevant. Should I be silent instead of voicing? Should I? I'm an ordinary people. Who will always make mistakes. Who will always speak outside the box or ridiculously. Just like others. All I can say is, I dont like people that stepping on others head.  If my words was too hard for a certain people, I'm sincerely ask for a forgiveness. Please correct me with a kindly way as you can.  I'm not the kind of creature that will always nod for others instruction, or sort of.  I'm a kind of person that talk before think. Just so you know, I'm not being born to pleased anyone nor everyone. Sorry for being me. Thank you.


p/s : The person who cannot hold their anger on, is a loser, yes that just me.

sayatakbolehtidur

Waiting for this upcoming 9th of November 2012 impatiently.


p/s : Allah always has something for you, a key for every problem, a light for every shadow, a relief for every sorrow and a plan for every tomorrow.

November is coming

• May Allah ease everything in this November. 
• May Allay give me a flying colour for my last result. 
• May Allah give me a halal sustenance from my salary.
• May Allah blessing my family.
• May Allah give my beloved one a guidance on true path.
• May Allah blessing our relationship and show the true path in loving each other.
• May Allah blessing my life.

p/s : When the world says 'give up', hope whispers 'try one more time'.

Day 3 & 4

Being a waitress is not easy.  It is between doing your responsibility and serve a customer's right. All I can say is I'm getting bored and I hate my job. It is not on my line. I prefer more on mentally torture than physically in term of employment. I've studied on Science Stream course during my high school and then took an Accountancy which is the professional course during my Diploma. All those subject that I've taken really made me stress, down, depress, horrible and so on. My mental was totally been tortured. But I've a way and would find a way to manage them all. I've learned so hard on how to handle stressfulness, depression, horribleness and etc. So, to make the story short, I hate waitress job and sales promoter job. I dont like communicate with a customer. I think I should try to be a cashier for my level. Ohh demand! :D

 Nahh..Malcolm just gave me this name tag. Yess, I'm Siti. Siti is my nickname anyway ;)

This Nasi Lemak Fried Chicken is very umphh! This is an awesome treatment while taking a break :D




p/s : When you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give up.

silent

 

p/s : She's standing on a line between giving up and how much more she can take.

Only for a start

For a starting surely its a bit harder. Try to face it with all the patient and calm. Taste a difficulty with all of our heart. Try to learn and experience for every single things happened. InsyaAllah, even the hardest thing might come in our future, we will able to overcome and face all the obstacle smoothly. Please dont forget where you stand and what you stand for. Allah always by our side. Just keep faith.

 p/s : You've heard what I have done. Not what I have been through.

Day 2

Today I felt a bit rilex than yesterday because today is a week day. So that a customer is busy with their own work and dont have a leisure time to eat there with their beloved family. Many come with their business partner to discuss about sales, business and so on. Hmm but still, I need to make more movement in order to serve customer from table to table. Many new things I've learn but still I repeat the same mistake. My friends there so far are okay and treat me well. They teach me a lot of things and sometimes they are funny. The manager also so far is okay and not getting mad on me since I'm a new staff. Selamat!!! :D

This is the chicken chop rice. The taste is ok but I dont like much.

This is Enriched Chocolate. Always be my favorite since the taste is a bit bitter.


p/s : Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

Day 1

Okay today is my tired day (28/10/2012). Imagine that I have to move there, move here, and cannot sit like a boss! Waitress job need more movement. Take an order, key in the order, send meal, clean up the table, tidy up the floor and serve a customer are my job. I have to put a higher level of patient in order to serve the customer's hassle. Haa but the best part to work in there is I got many foreigner friends. Most of them are not local so they are unable to speak malay fluently. So I can improve my english language since that is the only language to communicate with. I hope I can stand to work there for at least two months. Nak duit! Nak enjoy! :D

  Nahh! This is my meal for today. Asam Laksa and Cocolate Ice.



p/s : Experience is one thing you cant get for nothing.

Okay moneyh moneyh :D

This is a good news! Yeahh. Yesterday I went interview at Oldtown White Coffee. The manager named Malcolm was asked me a lot of questions and at last, I've offered to work there as a waitress. This may give me new experience. Alhamdulilah. Moneyh moneyh come to me! Hahaha. Not sure how long I will get there. Kalau kerja okay, lama laa aku kerja despite gaji sikit.

After told my family and him excitedly about my job, I went to clinic to get a Typhoid vaccine as required by the company. Typhoid vaccine is responsible to prevent typhoid ( causes a high fever, weakness, headache, loss appetite and etc ). And as a result, my left hand got numb due to that injection. Please get okayy soon my left hand :(

 The prove that I've got the typhoid injection.

Wee.. I've got the uniform already. Today I'm on closing shift.


p/s :  A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.

friends

Today genap seminggu berpisah dengan kawan kawan. Perasaan rindu ada. Percaya atau tidak, boleh dikatakan dalam seminggu ni mereka muncul dalam mimpi aku. Orang kata, kalau kita mimpi someone tu, means orang tu tengah rindu kat kita. Haha. Kalau betul, bagus la. Takde la aku nak syok sendiri. Life selepas ketiadaan mereka agak berbeza. Aku takde tempat nak kongsi suka, duka, jenaka. Nak cerita kerenah family aku pun tak tahu dah kat sapa. Do you see how important they all to me? Tapi tu lah, kehidupan mesti dan pasti diteruskan. Kalau ada jodoh dan rezeki, boleh la jumpa mereka time degree nanti. InsyaAllah. Sudah lebih kurang tiga tahun menyulam hubungan sahabat, akhirnya terpaksa berjauhan demi masa dan keadaan. (puitis bebenar ayat aku ni). Hope hubungan tu tak terhenti kat sini je. Aku taknak ada istilah 'kawan diploma' or 'kawan tiga tahun' or whatsoever. I want this relationship lasts.

p/s : Dear friends, thank you for all those days.